Rolling Stone actually ran an article a few issues back called “The Battle of the B-List Bands” which referred to competing bands touring on the “good name” of former big bands, like L.A. Guns, the Temptations, Guess Who and Asia. The article tried to assess which of the competing bands were truer to the band in its hey-day, either in terms of how many original members were currently touring or which band had more essential members. In some of the examples, there was no contest — of the two touring Asia bands, one has all four original members and the other has a guy who for a while filled in John Wetton’s spot as lead singer. Aptly stated by the writer, “if you have to see Asia, go original”.

This got me thinking of other bands who tour on what might have been a big name at one time, but whose current incarnation sullies the memory of that band. Take the likes of Foreigner, Boston and Styx, massive draws in the second half of the Seventies and early Eighties. Between them, they now tour with three original members (one in each band), and nary one with an original lead singer. While they might replicate the sound of their classic days musically, vocally they do not, and I’ve decided that this is a critical element of what I’ll call the “bad cover band” scenario. You can play the music in a note-for-note replica of the original, but, if the original singer is not there, don’t refer to yourself with the old band’s name. Foreigner was Lou Gramm, and, while Tom Scholz’s guitar is a huge element of Boston’s sound, so was the voice of the late Brad Delp. The music Boston made without him sucked.

Which brings me to the New Cars, who I must say fall into the bad cover band category, just not as bad as the bands I just mentioned. Sure, they didn’t just call themselves The Cars, and, yes, Todd is a whole lot better than the jokers singing with Boston, Foreigner and Styx, but, in the end, New Cars was just a higher-priced bad cover band. I saw the original Cars twice (in the same week in Boston before their first album came out), and the New Cars were much more energetic, but they were still a cover band.

A few bands are on the fence between bad cover band and evoking fond memories. Earth, Wind and Fire hang on because of the vocals of Phillip Bailey, although, with one or two exceptions, no one else was around in the band’s most popular period. The same can be said for Chicago — Robert Lamm and the horn section have been around since the beginning, but, even with guys who have been in the band longer than Terry Kath or Peter Cetera, would you even care about Chicago if it weren’t for the music made, played and sung by Kath and Cetera? I have to mention Journey (I just had to). I saw their latest version in this year’s Super Bowl pregame, the one that featured the fourth lead singer (I think) in the band’s history, and all I could think about was the Brady Bunch episode about Johnny Bravo. This latest guy hits the notes, but that’s about it. Each of these three have levels of bad cover band associated with them, Journey the closest of the three, and they might really be there.

There are a few bands out there who have most of their significant former selves still in the band who should still hang it up (and I invite everyone to add to this list). Take the Who … please. While Pete and Roger may be the brains and face of the band, they lost the heart and soul (Keith and John) long ago, and they should just retire. The same can be said for the Eagles — hell thawed out a long time ago, yet they continue to tour and make new records and take their fans’ money (not mine) to support the lifestyle to which they’ve become accustomed. And, yes, I think it may be time for Yes to hang it up. They plan a 40th anniversay tour, and Jon Anderson has to bow out with a respiratory problem. Rick Wakeman declines because he fears for Jon’s health, and his son takes his place. They hit the road with a Yes tribute band singer as Jon’s replacement, and Chris Squire is struck down and has to have surgery. I think it’s time to take their cue from Bill Bruford, who announced his retirement from performing this year. And, I would still pay to see Bruford … anytime, anywhere. These other guys … not so much.